So I have this idea bubbling in my head.

I was wallowing in self-pity last week, lamenting my inability to make art the way that I really want to. I blamed my family and their slovenly ways, and the messy state of our home. I blamed the endless chores and errands that go with running a household. I blamed the necessity of having a day job. I blamed myself for being too disorganized to pull myself together enough to overcome the day-to-day grind, reminding myself that lots of people produce work regardless of their daily obstacles.

After a good cry and some more thought, I had a quasi-epiphany: I was letting the rest of my life run me. Too much mommy time, too much nursing time, and there will be no artist time. Right? Right. The question that then arises is, where does one draw the line between daily life and the inner life?

I became a nurse because I have to put food on the table, and I can't afford to be an artist without that paycheck. Before I even started my first class, I made my husband swear that he'd be fine with my leaving nursing if it interfered with me making the work that matters to me. But in the drive to have a good home, I constantly put off what drove me to seek a better life: art. Meaning, even with the damn paycheck, I'm not a working artist, which is beginning to rob me of my sanity. For the love of Mike, I'm beginning to sing along with Pedro the Lion songs, AND THAT'S NOT GOOD. I don't want to lead a life of self-pity.

The question for you people out there is this: do you divide yourself into different personas so that you can be artists as well as work? Do you find that daily responsibilities overcome the time you need to make work? Does it affect you at all? If so, how? Who are the different people you become when you're not shooting/painting/drawing? Are you okay with that, or not? How do you feel about it?

I'd really like to hear what you have to say...images are coming to me, but I hate self-indulgence. Instead of embarking on work that's masturbatory, I'd like to explore a common thread that lots of working artists with day jobs, family/kids, and other challenges face, and the identity issues that come with the package.

Thanks. ~P